PERSONAL HISTORY: That Personal Touch (1,212 ABY)

Posted on Fri May 17th, 2013 @ 12:36am by Thane
Edited on Mon Jun 18th, 2018 @ 11:05am

2,605 words; about a 13 minute read

RECORD 002
AUDIO RECORDING: THANE, OF HOUSE VERUS
SUBJECT: PERSONAL HISTORY - FORGING MY SECOND LIGHTSABER 1,212 ABY

Just a short while ago, I gave Bería my first lightsaber, the original one I had forged during my time as a Padawan of the Reborn Jedi Order, and before then had explained the significance of a lightsaber to her.

I said: "Whilst it is not the most important part of being a Jedi - any kind of Jedi - the lightsaber is personal, designed, built and attuned to the individual. Not only a rite of passage, but also a declaration, an achievement to be proud of. Even the Reborn Jedi Order accepts this. A true Force user is never without some weapon, whether it be words or the powers they can call upon, but the lightsaber is a key element. It is sturdy, it is powered by the Force - by you - and stands for something. Or, at least, it should stand for something... It is these qualities you should represent: strength, the Force and a meaning - a purpose." I explained how I did not feel the Jedi Order necessarily quite holds to these values, but that myself, Bomoor, some others and she could.

Further, I explained, "It is also important that it shows a part of you - your personality, and your feelings. Like I said: you and the lightsaber have a lot in common. Just as, in time, it will become an extension of you in combat, it should always be a part of you; you will use the Force to tune it, and it should represent your attitudes and beliefs. That is why, if you looked, many of Axion's servants utilised blackened blades, and many of them were similar. Even in their ridiculous devotion and lack of individuality, they have expressed themselves in their hilts - they look alike, just as they act alike. I went to the extremes of independence; I have utilised electrum in the design of my blade, and even went in search of Hurrikaine crystals, to give it a violet sheen. Even the modest Bomoor opted for a more unique colour, but that is not to say there isn't worth in the more common ones."

"What if I want mine to be red?" She had asked me, and I at first sighed at her obvious test before replying that, "The colour of your lightsaber is an individual choice; many dark side adherents forge their own artificial crystals, which - almost every time - will result in an unstable, but powerful, red-hued crystal", explaining that, "Naturally-occurring red crystals aren't impossible to find, but they are very rare; green and blue are the most common to discover on Jedi worlds where they grow, but other colours are possible to find. I won't say that the colour is unimportant, because, again, it signifies a part of you."

She is far more astute than I initially gave her credit for, although sometimes she does make me query that apparent astuteness at times, particularly with her inane babbling about food and childlike manner, despite her not being many years at all my junior. With her, it is either as if she is acting as though she is still a youth or is arguably making me feel many years older than my true age. Regardless of that, it is my hope that she will mature in the coming months. Given the trials she will undergo training under myself and Bomoor as well as the things she will further face should she stay with us, she will have to.

Of course, this is if she stays with us. Frequently, I hear mutterings about being kept with us or I sense her wish to depart. What she seems to fail to realise is that she is not being forced to remain with us; should she wish to leave, I would certainly try to discourage her given her grand potential, but I would not force her against her will - that would certainly make for a much poorer student, anyway. In time, however, she may come to embrace her possibilities, and perhaps even be enticed by them, as I continue to be by the power of the Force.

Nevertheless, that is not the point of this recording. I do this now not only for nostalgia's sake, but also for her own, should she come to listen to it in time. I intend to talk of the time I went in search of the Hurrikaine crystals for my second lightsaber. I am certain it is something I will look back upon fondly, but I hope it will also encourage her at some point when it comes to forging her own blade, or simply becoming her own woman.


It was a short time after I had passed the Trials and ascended to Knighthood. As I was becoming more and more my own person, seeking to forge a unique destiny for myself even as one of the Jedi Order, I sought to stand out - to not be blindly obedient. Unlike many of my kin at the time, I understood the benefits of individuality and taking pride in what one does and achieves.

Whilst I understand the reasons behind the Jedi's shunning of such beliefs, I also questioned it. They would often prattle on about having confidence on your own abilities, but not of taking pride in them, and it seemed contradictory to me, or at least wrong. Overconfidence is certainly one thing, but I have always felt - even when I was younger - that simply doing something is not a reward in itself, but that stepping back and marvelling at your achievement is a greater reward. Certainly, benefiting a greater cause is essential, but if you feel you have done well in something and can continue to draw strength from that satisfaction, it undeniably makes you better at doing what it is you devote your life to.

A sentient who spends their existence loathing their occupation is doomed to do poorly in it, which in turn will cause greater suffering to others who are affected by that sentient, either as a result of their poor workmanship or because they emotionally depressing. It is similar to a Jedi and the equipment he uses, the way he carries himself and they he operates. I had grown tired of my standard blue lightsaber and basic hilt. It was no longer a reflection of what I was and I did not wish to be seen as a reflection of the boy I had been when I forged it. I wished to be seen as more. After all, should one not improve as they grew older; should one not change and become greater? I will always hold that time in my memory as a time of development and learning, but certainly lesser than I was when I decided to change my blade. If nothing else, I was now a Jedi Knight, and not a Padawan.


A friend of mine and also a former apprentice of Master Sotah, Jedi Sentinel Loren, joined me in my quest. I had already gathered the components for my intended blade; pieces of regal electrum, the focusing lens and other necessary components. As a gift, Master Sotah had also given me a Velmorite crystal to include in the final article, the yellow piece being renowned for creating a more fluid movement of the blade when installed. Given my fondness and aptitude for duelling and my studying of the second (and in secret, seventh) lightsaber forms, it was a fitting gift, and I remain grateful to my Master to this day. In addition, I intended to use the Rubat crystal from my original saber, which also improved the quality of the blade.

Taking her personal vessel, Sotah's Woe (a name that continues to amuse me), Loren brought me to a world once rich with rare crystals that cast a violet blade that grew within the sentient species of the world, Hurikane. There had been few encounters with the mysterious people before they went extinct during the time of one of the Galactic Empires, and despite Loren urging me not to, I chose to go there in some vain attempt to discover something. Were I successful, my crystal would - by definition - be incredibly rare and unique.

Understanding me better than most Reborn Jedi, Loren landed her vessel - designed for stealth, due to her usual assignments - upon the planet's barren and rocky surface. Dust kicked up all about us in the wind and went into my eyes, and for a good deal of time, I was merely staring off into the distance, unsure of what to do.

After some time meditating and examining readouts on the Woe, I decided to climb one of the smaller hills to see if I could discover something. Loren decided it was best for her to stay on her ship whilst I went venturing, and I was pleased for the time by myself to think and search.

It did not take long to climb the hill, and when I did, I was offered a grand view of a chasm far below, part of a ravine that seemed to cut into the very being of the planet. Numerous caverns could be sighted on the higher levels, but a pitch darkness below was impossible to penetrate. As I looked over the side, I suddenly heard the tumbling of rocks behind me. Thinking it was Loren, I immediately turned around only to see there was nothing there, only to then hear a whispering once more behind me.

I knew it to be impossible, given the chasm was behind me, but I turned around anyway, and as I did so, the rocks beneath them suddenly broke away and I went sprawling into the darkness, fumbling and failing to find some way to get a purchase and prevent myself from becoming a rather noble pool of blood and broken bones upon whatever surface may lay far beneath me.

Despite my panic, I was able to grasp rock that jutted out more than the rest, and from there I struggled but succeeded in throwing myself onto a naturally-formed ledge, a small cave leading off from it. If it then had not been for the whispering I heard in that cave, I would have used the Force to jump my way back up, but my interest was piqued and - as a Jedi - I felt fairly powerful and safe, particularly in the height of my pride from passing the Trials.

Engaging my lightsaber for light, I ventured into the cave after finding my communicator was not working, with my blade shining a blue glow wherever I stepped. After what must have been hours of endless walking, the whispering was heard again, and I was drawn to an antechamber deep within this structure. Inside, it seemed at first there were merely odd rock formations all about me, but after examining a good deal of them, I was struck by a sudden realisation. These 'formations' were humanoid, settled in various states of disarray as if having suffered, whilst others sat upon rock 'chairs' or lay down.

Realising this was the resting place of some of the native species, I decided to not disturb them any further and decided on leaving. I thought then the whispers must have been a Force echo of the souls who had perished on this world, but as I made my way to leave, the cavern began to shake. Dust and rocks fell from all about, large ones big enough to break my bones included. I then tried to move quickly, but just I was about to dive back through the way I had come, something stopped me - and just as well that it did, as the collapse then filled the area before me, and would have taken me with it. Luckily, rather than having my body crushed, a rock merely made contact with my head. I only say "luckily", as it is certainly preferable to death.

Dazed and struggling to focus, I turned thinking that I was snagged on a rock, only to realise a large figure was now standing before me, his 'hand' grasped about me and stopping me from moving. I tried in vain to struggle against it, but with my head wound I could not coordinate myself nor call on the Force at ease. After just a short time, I collapsed to the floor, still trying to pull away as my vision began to fail me and I felt blood leaking from my cranium.

The last image I had before passing out was of two violet, jewel-like eyes peering into me, as if searching my soul.


I dreamt during that time, of a pursuing a young dark-skinned man through the rocky plains of Hurikaine. From the weapon he wielded, I knew the prey I and my brethren sought was a Jedi, hairless and fast, powerful for his age. It was many lifetimes ago, I could tell, that the chase went awry. I stumbled, slipping into a canyon, my body suffering immensely and my life force leaving me. My own kin went on without me and I resigned myself to a lonely death, only to then have that very bald, dark-skinned man standing over me, placing his fleshy and caring hands upon my hard body.

In just a short time, I felt myself begin to recover at cost to this individual. Life returned to me and gratitude filled every fibre of my being. To him I gifted a part of myself of great worth, and a great token of affection to the stranger whom I hunted but had come to save me from the grips of death. Even with the gift, his departure left me feeling as though a great debt was owed to him and the Jedi for the unnecessary kindness he had shown.


I slipped in and out of consciousness from several such dreams, none as clear as that one, but often involving white-clad soldiers and weapons capable of great destruction. Eventually, I awoke properly, and found myself lying upon that very hillside from which I had slipped before. The time of day was more or less the same, the temperature and weather the same, and I was entirely uninjured, yet my memories of the fall and discovering the rock tomb were all too clear in my mind.

Struggling to make sense of what happened, I searched my person for any clues, only to discover two lightsabers swinging from my belt - my old one and a new one constructed partly of electrum. Igniting it, a violet-hued blade sprung forward with the hum I had come to recognise to be indicative of the focusing crystals I had chosen.

Despite my wonderment, I made my way back to Sotah's Woe and Loren, who had commented on the short time I had been away and was impressed with the new lightsaber I now grasped in my hands, congratulating me on my success.

When asked on where I found the violet crystal for the lightsaber, I found myself looking down at it, and merely replied, "It was a gift." Within me, a feeling told me that a debt had been repaid that day, although I cannot be certain of what had truly happened.

END OF RECORDING

 

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