Bomoor's Journal - Entry 3
Posted on Mon Oct 1st, 2018 @ 6:43pm by Bomoor Thort
Edited on Tue Dec 1st, 2020 @ 2:50pm
1,696 words; about a 8 minute read
BOMOOR’S JOURNAL
THIRD ENTRY
I have not thought to make a journal entry for some time as everything around me has been changing so fast. The last time I sat down to write was before our mission to Jericho which, although it resulted in the acquisition of the Kaiburr shard, took a terrible toll on the dynamics of our crew. Thane and myself faced great physical torture at the hands of the Exile Mandalorians as well as being temporarily robbed of our connection to the Force. Both of us felt far more distant from the teachings of the Jedi after that, with myself refusing to continue spying on Thane for the council and renouncing my own membership in the Jedi Order. Then there was Loren, who died on the station, aiding our escape.
I am grateful that Thane accepted my apology for initially going along with the council’s plans, using it as further evidence of his views on the stagnation and corruption of the Jedi’s true purpose. I have always seen it too, but I was not ready, until this point, to pull away from practically everything I knew. Others within the crew have not been so accepting of these changes, with Bería and Morgo both electing to leave. While Sev Rezer is still unwavering in his support of our mission, he chose to remain with the exiles on Jericho.
It has been several weeks now since that mission and reports are now appearing on the holonet declaring Thane and myself fugitives from the Jedi Order. The senate has so far stayed quiet on our subject within the Republic, so we are not officially criminals, but it still angers me deeply that the people I once called my friends and allies would declare me a threat to the Force over my disagreement with their actions.
How can I be a threat to the Force when I have done nothing but seek to preserve it, even in the face of all manner of Jedi who would abuse its power on misguided crusades against phantom enemies? The closest I have come to falling from that path was when I agreed to be their spy.
What makes it worse is that this tarnish on my reputation might affect more than just myself. My Father, Bruta Thort, is the lead Republic-Öetrago liaison and has spent his life building up his reputation as a friend to the Republic and, by extension, a supporter of the Reborn Jedi Order. While it has been a long time since I have seen my father in person, this choice by Quellus could damage more than just my future prospects.
There are, however, some unanticipated benefits to these recent changes such as the newfound willingness of Darth Krayt’s holocron to converse with me about his own history and some of his teachings. He is still not the most willing teacher and we have clashed on several occasions, but I now feel it is important to understand the ways of the Sith and take what power and wisdom I can from Krayt’s successes and failures. Detailed below are some of my compiled notes on my conversations.
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For Krayt, this decision came from a moment of need, long after the fall of his Jedi Order during the rise of another Sith Lord: Darth Sidious. He had spent much time drifting away from his Jedi roots, initially returning to his people and then wandering the galaxy as a bounty hunter. He encountered a Sith Holocron and decided to learn from it, much like we have, but he did not fall to darkness in that instant. It was not until later, when drifting in the unknown regions, that he was captured by the Yuuzhaan Vong and tortured mercilessly, as well as undergoing horrendous alterations to his body. He attempted to call upon his training to save himself but found it lacking, only finally receiving the strength he required by calling upon the dark side as he had learned from the holocron.
Perhaps this would have been an isolated incident, were it not for a vision he had at this moment of a galaxy united under one great power. He saw this as the future he was destined to achieve but the way he chose to achieve this was through the same power that had saved his life in his most hopeless moment. Some might argue that his entire Empire was built on an instant of pure madness: a broken mind seeing, not a vision through the Force, but a hallucination born of temporary insanity. Whether it was real or not, Krayt found that his training in the Light Side could not provide the strength he needed to make his ‘vision’ a reality.
When first starting on his path to power, the Dark side was his partner: the perfect tool for building a new Sith Order and drawing disciples to him. But, later on, he fell victim to corruption of his body and, eventually, a paranoia, which led to his demise. It is unfortunate that he was able to achieve what would have been impossible on the path of the light, only to fall under conditions that may have been treatable by the power he rejected.
Given my recent experience of torture and feeling so powerless, I have some sympathy for Krayt’s first decision to draw from the dark side. Had the Force been with me on Jericho, that option may have been open to me as well. It is a dangerous thought but I feel more and more that it is not a failing to use such power, when the alternative would be to die. What about when there are the lives of others in the balance? To simply give in and perish could even be selfish when you have it in your power to do so much more.
Using the dark side and being selfless; can that be possible or does it truly corrupt too much for such things? Perhaps I can discover the answer; it certainly deserves asking in a galaxy where murder occurs over lines in the sand. Either way, I am determined not to succumb to that helplessness again.
Seeking advice from the gatekeeper can be challenging. Even with an open mind, I am not the kind of vassal a Sith Lord such as Krayt would hope to impart his wisdom onto. He has challenged me to give myself a purpose, for power without purpose is meaningless. We obviously face a great challenge taking on Axion at the present time but, in a galaxy rid of his evil influence, what else would I strive to achieve?
I would very much like a re-shuffling of the current powers in the galaxy, removing figures such as the Grand Master from the political sphere and bringing the Jedi back to being guardians, not crusaders. Even if the Reborn Order must fall, it would be worth it to cut out the rot. Still, it is not a very Sith purpose, but it is a concept that excites me. Even if it is not enough to grant me further knowledge, Krayt’s gatekeeper has already made me think more about what I want in this world, rather than what is simply expected of me. Is free will really such a foreign concept to me?
I should conclude this entry with some private thoughts on Thane and his relation to the Sith. It is no secret between us that the study of certain techniques considered to draw on the dark side are going to be extremely useful in achieving our goals in the future. Since beginning this entry and adding notes from Krayt, we have taken on a new crew member: a young Nautolan woman, extremely strong in the Force: Zaracoda Wolph. Thane, and now myself, have elected to train her in the ways of the Force but I have begun to see, through the way Coda has been taught thus far, that Sith teachings have formed a large part of her education. These teachings can only have come from Thane.
In addition to this, the Force bond that once bridged Thane and Bería, now links between Thane and myself: while his deeper thoughts are still hidden to me, there are whispers and visions of the Sith that come to me now, where none existed before. While some of this could be explained by his recent encounter with the wraith of Darth Cabal, I feel it is something more.
We are now preparing to head to Korriban, where we will inevitably encounter further teachings of the Sith. I hope this will allow me to more openly discuss the topic of the Sith with Thane. Given what I have already discussed about Krayt, the concept of the Sith is less ghastly to me (although I have certainly experienced some of the more ghastly aspects of it). It is a title: a chosen lineage that means little on its own so I must know why, if my suspicions are true, Thane has chosen to adopt this lineage as his own. In my mind, one can do much without having to change what you call yourself, but I know that Thane must truly have some reason in mind for this decision. But I will await the right time to ask: I cannot risk pushing him away over this - our partnership is too important and, now, so is the well-being of Zaracoda.
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